Remembering Tim Tebow

First of all, this article isn’t meant to memorialize Mr Tebow as if he were gone.  Too many experts have already declared that his time as a quarterback is drawing to a close.  Even coach Fox will only commit to one more week with Timmy as the QB.  Rather, I’m going to remind everyone who it is that everyone claims can’t throw the ball.

Tim Tebow was drafted #25 in the 2010 NFL Draft.  He was drafted TWENTY FOUR spots after the number one overall pick, Sam Bradford.  Yes that’s the same Sam Bradford who doesn’t have a single win this year as quarterback.  He’s started 7 games on a team with a solid running back, and yet he has no wins.  Not a one as QB.  In fact, the Rams finally won a game this week when he didn’t play.  Yet, Tim Tebow, taken at the tail end of the first round and 1-1 as a starter this year, is the only young quarterback the media obsesses over.  Why isn’t he doing better?!?

I’ll tell you why he isn’t doing better:  He’s on a terrible team, with a coach who has no idea how to use him.  My beloved Broncos were the 2nd worst team in the league last year, yet the expectations are that Tebow should win every game, even though they’re playing the 4th most difficult schedule in the league (based on early figures).  He’s already won as many games as Orton did, yet he’s playing in a system that doesn’t match his skill set.

Let’s look at the Detroit Lions game for example.  Tebow had his greatest successes on the first drive, and in the final couple drives.  This is where Fox actually did what he said he was going to do and played Tebow in a spread offense.  What happened for the rest of the game?  Well, they lined him up under center and became the most predictable team in the league.  Even though the Lions stacked the box with 7 and 8 defenders, the Broncos ran on first down nearly every play then usually followed that with another run or a QB sneak.  It’s the perfect offense to run if you’re gameplan is to put your QB into 3rd and long situations, then to complain that he’s always in 3rd and long situations.

Anyway, now that the world is convinced that Tim Tebow can’t throw the ball, I’d like to remind you who Tim Tebow is:  He’s the first underclassman to ever win the Heisman Trophy in college.  In that season, as a sophomore, he threw for over 3200 passing yards!  He had 32 passing touchdowns that season!  That’s over 600 more passing yards than Cam Newton had in his amazing Heisman season.  Tebow had 12 more passing touchdowns than Newton did.  He threw fo 50 yards a game more than Newton.  And now we’re all convinced that Cam Newton can be an NFL quarterback, but Tebow doesn’t have a chance.  Make him a tight end, they say.

The biggest difference between Newton and Tebow right now is that the Carolina Panthers have completely bought into the talents of their quarterback.  The Broncos are afraid to commit.  I’m not convinced they want him to succeed at all.  It’s a shame too, because Tim Tebow could be a special player.  Even though I live in Florida, I was never a Tebow fan while he was in college.  But now that I’ve seen him Denver, I’ve bought in.  I just wish the Denver Broncos coaching staff would do the same.

How the Denver Broncos Turn Me Into an Impatient Child

I consider myself a pretty level-headed guy.  I try to put logic and reason above emotion, I think before I act (usually), and I try to make responsible decisions.  I’m sometimes impulsive, but with restraint.  I’m not easily rattled, and I typically deal well with stress.

BUT, put me in front of the TV when my beloved Denver Broncos are on, and I immediately turn into an impatient child. Here, I’ll offer you proof (though all you really need to do is ask my wife).

TOYS

Yes dear, of COURSE I need a 65″ flatscreen plasma television to watch the game.  And I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to experience it without surround sound.  Uh, yeah – a subwoofer is critical.  Oh, and we need some guys in a van with a ladder to come to our expensive new house and hammer a giant satellite dish onto our roof.  Yeah, it’ll be fine.  They probably do this all the time.  Oh, and I’m going to pay entirely too much money to get an NFL sports package that I can really only enjoy for a six hour block one day a week.  Yeah, I’m going to need access to this programming on my tiny cell phone as well – they’ll probably charge more but that’s ok.  Oh and I need this specific shirt to wear while I watch the game.  It’s exactly like what the players wear!  I realize it costs nearly as much as the chair I’m sitting in, but it’s authentic!!

LICENSED UNDERWEAR

Ok, so I don’t have GI Joe underoos, but you can bet I have Denver Broncos boxers!  And socks, and a tie, and an entire row of shirts, a handful of jerseys – including an NFL Broncos Baseball Jersey  – I have sweatshirts, jackets, a heavy coat (in florida), gloves, hats, visors, posters, autographed cards, water bottles, folding chairs, a watch, wallet, and even a tape measure!  (I never realized until now how much our residence would feel like a memorabilia store if it weren’t spread out throughout the house (mostly in the back room where my wife never really ventures)).

TEMPER TANTRUMS

As a Broncos fan, most Sundays go like this:

  • WHHOOOO, Go Broncos!!!
  • GAH, why can’t we ever score from the redzone?!
  • Seriously, Moreno is hurt AGAIN?
  • What, no???  BAD CALL!!
  • Are you  kidding me?!?  That was holding?!?!?
  • No way NO WAY – That was an illegal block in the back!
  • Why can’t we ever stop the run?
  • IN-COM-PLETE!
  • Seriously, why can’at we STOP the RUN!!!!???
  • AAAAAGGH!!!!!
  • <Crying>
  • I HATE THIS STUPID GAME AND I’LL NEVER WATCH THE BRONCOS AGAIN!!!!
  • <Whimpering>
  • I bet Tebow would have scored 300 points…

Seriously though, who screams at a TV?  I’m not sure kids even do that.  Seems like Rain Man may have – although I’m pretty sure he just wanted to make it home for Wapner…  And then like all temper tantrums it ends suddenly, our memories are erased, and the pain is eased.  What do we do next?  Jump on the internet and start reading about next week’s matchup.

PLAY WITH FRIENDS

Football fans above all others know what our primary addiction sometimes becomes.  No, it’s not the games.  No it’s not the junk food.  It’s the fantasy football.  It doesn’t matter if we play with friends or strangers.  We really just want to play.  I’m not sure if we even actually enjoy it – I think we’re just happy that it gives us an excuse to watch every game.

My problem is that I have a deep seeded desire to lose.  Why else would I keep drafting Broncos players onto my team?? Perhaps subconsciously I feel it will help that player perform better – they certainly won’t let me down both on the field AND here in my fantasy league.  Sigh…  The Broncos also contributed to my poor record in our work pickem league last year.  Of course, like the blindly devoted fan I am, I chose them to win every week.  I’m really trying hard to change…  At least they’re going to win this week!


A.D.D.

Seems like all kids these days are diagnosed with ADD (sounds like a topic for a different day).  We football fans know how to deal with this problem, and no you don’t need medication.  Let’s just say, it isn’t enough for us to have access to every single game, or even to watch up to 6 of them at a time.  What we really need is a channel, with no commercials, that jumps from game to game whenever something exciting *might* be about to happen.  And with that, I give you – The NFL Redzone Channel.  The Redzone Channel is God’s gift to sports fans.  Only the most hardcore sports fans will pay hundreds of dollars for access to every live game, and then watch only this one channel for an entire day…  with no regrets.  It’s amazing.

ATTENTION SPAN

And like all children, my attention span is now drawing me elsewhere.  To the Broncos, I say good luck against the Bengals this week.  Please stop letting me down.  I’ve loved you longer than I’ve loved my wife (I only made the mistake of telling her that once), but all you do is bring me heartache.  Still, I’m an obsessive little kid who admires his team.  Is that a crime?  Of course not…  Maybe I’ll grow out of it?

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